Parents of children will have it much harder for a number of reasons.
Kids process things differently then we do. They are afraid of the outcome of the event. "Am I going to die?, Am I going to get hurt?, Is Mommy and Daddy going to die?"
Add in the possibility of schedule disruptions on a prolonged period of time and you've got an additional situation on your hands.
After an event we are clueless, and depend on TV, Radio and word of mouth to get valuable information. We need to make a plan and think things through, but a terrified child can make that process almost impossible.
The first thing to do, is to calm the child down and reassure them that everything is OK. (even if you know things may not be that way, a little white lie can help out tremendously here. You can be realistic, but try to remain positive). If you have something that can help distract them while you gather your thoughts and make a game plan that would be helpful (Favorite toys, card games, puzzles, etc) Anything to distract them from the severity of the event and gives you time.
The MOST important thing though is to retain your composure. If your kids sees you flipping out and losing it, then they will respond accordingly.
Normalcy is important for prolonged exposure to the event aftermath. Include the kids in whatever you're doing so they feel like they are a helpful part.
The Red Cross states that after a disaster, children are most afraid that--
- The event will happen again.
- Someone will be injured or killed.
- They will be separated from the family.
- They will be left alone.
They have a nice section for parent (which i am including here)
Prepare for Disaster
You can create a Family Disaster Plan and practice it so that everyone will remember what to do when a disaster does occur.Contact your local emergency management or civil defense office, or your local Red Cross chapter for materials that describe how your family can create a disaster plan. Everyone in the household, including children, should play a part in the family's response and recovery efforts.
Teach your child how to recognize danger signals. Make sure your child knows what smoke detectors, fire alarms and local community warning systems (horns, sirens) sound like.
Explain how to call for help. Teach your child how and when to call for help. Check the telephone directory for local emergency phone numbers and post these phone numbers by all telephones. If you live in a 9-1-1 service area, tell your child to call 9-1-1. Even very young children can be taught how and when to call for emergency assistance.
Help your child memorize important family information. Children should memorize their family name, address and phone number. They should also know where to meet in case of an emergency. Some children may not be old enough to memorize the information. They could carry a small index card that lists emergency information to give to an adult or babysitter.
After the Disaster: Time for Recovery
Immediately after the disaster, try to reduce your child's fear and anxiety.Keep the family together. While you look for housing and assistance, you may want to leave your children with relatives or friends. Instead, keep the family together as much as possible and make children a part of what you are doing to get the family back on its feet. Children get anxious, and they'll worry that their parents won't return.
Calmly and firmly explain the situation. As best as you can, tell children what you know about the disaster. Explain what will happen next. For example, say, "Tonight, we will all stay together in the shelter." Get down to the child's eye level and talk to him or her.
Encourage children to talk. Let children talk about the disaster and ask questions as much as they want. Encourage children to describe what they're feeling. Listen to what they say. If possible, include the entire family in the discussion.
Include children in recovery activities. Give children chores that are their responsibility. This will help children feel they are part of the recovery. Having a task will help them understand that everything will be all right.
You can help children cope by understanding what causes their anxieties and fears. Reassure them with firmness and love. Your children will realize that life will eventually return to normal. If a child does not respond to the above suggestions, seek help from a mental health specialist or a member of the clergy.
There is some great resources on disaster preparedness at: http://www.redcross.org/pubs/dspubs/genprep.html
~ Rob
